Welcome to week 3 of our deep-dive into building employee engagement.

Following on from Purpose and Autonomy, this week we're talking all things RELATIONSHIPS.

The following realisation was ones of the catalysts that led to me founding Art After Dark.

Back in April 2020, when I became the Marketing Director of a snack business, it was right at the start of the pandemic.

As I’m sure you remember, it was an intense period to lead large teams to say the least, but I'd always prided myself on being good at building connections with others.

But, being fully remote, there were times when I thought, “Why aren’t my superpowers working?”

Prior to that I’d been at Britvic for 9 years and had strong, supportive relationships with my teams and leadership colleagues.

We had history. I’d built a reputation. I could pick up the phone and ask a favour from almost anyone from the factories to the C-Suite and I'd do the same for them. I felt part of a community.

Whereas in my new role, I was starting from scratch and kept finding myself hitting brick walls. Things took longer to get done, people were less likely to go out of their way to help and there was a general awkwardness encircling conversations.

Virtual strangers in 2D boxes having transactional conversations took its toll and was a big contributing factor to me burning out.

This is serious stuff and brings into sharp focus just how critical relationships are in not only greasing the wheels of business, but in ensuring your teams and you as a leader stay healthy and happy.

2 Key Reasons Relationships Are Crucial

It's important to understand not only the benefits of relationships but just how damaging it is to have poor relationships at work.

1) Without others, we get sick

Without fail, in every single workshop I run, I hear some version of the following;

“I thought I was only one who felt that way.”

"I thought it was just me who struggles with that."

“That's such a relief. I feel less alone.”

We feel so much better when we’re reminded that we’re not alone in our endeavours and that our experiences are not ours alone to struggle through.

And yet, even when we hit breaking point, we're told to take time off, meditate and exercise to alleviate stress. But this frames unhappiness as an individual condition when, in reality, it’s a relational problem in need of relational solutions.

2) Feeling Valued vs Feeling Pain

Not feeling valued for your contributions activates the stress response and feels like a threat because, back in the wild this was akin to death. And that’s probably why rejection activates similar regions in the brain as physical pain. It hurts.

Conversely, our sense of connection to others directly influences our motivation at work.

Research* confirms that our desire to feel seen, heard, and recognised is fundamentally human. When we feel valued, we become inspired, highly engaged and productive.

Ideas for Action 👉

• Be Genuine & Open: We're really good at spotting when people aren't being straight with us to the extent that our heart rate goes up when we think someone is pretending to be someone they're not or not telling us the truth as we register inauthenticity as a threat. Whereas when people listen to us, communicate honestly and show a bit of vulnerability we feel safe and valued.
• See the Best in Others: In healthy relationships, people lift each other up by inspiring them to be the best versions of themselves. When someone sees the best in us and celebrates our strengths it inspires us to become better! This type of interaction is deeply energising for all involved as people feel appreciated for their individuality.
• Emotional Intelligence: How you handle emotions, particularly the negative ones, is critical to your ability to navigate conflicts. The best teams have individuals that cultivate high levels of self-awareness, work on their ability to read their teammates' non-verbal cues and exercise self-control.

As you can see, feeling connected to others requires being on the same page emotionally as well as intellectually.

Relationships are messy and intangible and it can feel hard to know where to start without it feeling forced.

This is why creative arts are so powerful at kick-starting authentic team connection! They help people to connect and feel safe and seen in a way that is very difficult to do when it's business as usual.

Do get in touch if you'd like my help to start improving relationships within your team. 💫

This Week's Painting🖼️

This week I painted "Roll with the Punches", to symbolise us being able to use our superpowers and stay light on our feet to adapt to anything that comes our way.

As always, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on what I've shared whilst watching this short timelapse of me painting.

I'd like to leave you with this quote from author, Kushal Choksi;

"Nobody brings out as much engagement and performance as leaders who can balance between the head and the heart."

As always, stay curious!

Louise